Gabe and I started out this summer with a mass effort to reduce our number of belongings. Our new reality was this, either unload much of our unused stuff or pay a hefty fee for cozy junk storage while we're abroad. Two things had to happen. We needed a frank discussion about our need to retain items of little value and to further combat the mounting piles, I had to come to terms with my need to buy and Gabe had to face his need to retain.
By the end of the packing effort we found that both of us had moved from a deeply sentimental, keep everything relationship with our things, to the cold and unfeeling sell/ donate/ trash it end of the spectrum. I joke, but I imagine that everyone who has ever helped us move is not laughing about having carried all those books to multiple three-story walk-up apartments. One Salvation Army van and several car loads later and we were looking quite svelte as far as stuff was concerned.
Initially it was hard to part with our possessions. Now that I have been able to rationalize the value of having less, I have come to appreciate only having the things that you absolutely need with and around you. If you had to be able to fit said things into 4 bags like we do, this doesn't amount to a whole lot. There is still room for sentimentality in this equation. I packed away years of saved letters and pictures, journals, drawings and other projects. We kept all of our art and [higher] quality furniture. Mostly though, we just have boring, day-to-day necessities.
In this transformation from stuff hoarding Jessica to stuff shedding Jessica, I became angry with myself for buying, literally, into this racket of material things. I am not anti-stuff by any means. I think it is fabulous to search out beautiful things, functional or otherwise, to have around you in your world. What makes me so frustrated is the "big sell" that urges individuals, such as myself, into thinking we actually need all this junk.
Case in point, baby stuff. When I first found out I was pregnant I remember this feeling of panic when I "realized" how much we needed. How were Gabe and I going to be able to provide for this kid? Would he be forever destined to a life of crime or worse, second tier universities, if we weren't able to get him a diaper wipes warmer? Each look at one of those "needs" checklist from the baby books left me overwhelmed and anxious. I never felt completely at peace or grounded when it came to filtering out necessity from nonsense.
As is everything with our family and raising a baby, we tend to butt up against the status quo, be utterly repelled by it, and figure out our own way of proceeding. This was no different. We were able to say no to many of the useless products, such as the aforementioned wipe warmer, and borrowed many of the items that had limited lifespans. Unfortunately, we still ended up with a lot more that was ever needed. Beautiful, much researched, unused stuff.
Alas, we are wiser now...
Maybe. I admitted to the real problem in the first paragraph. I just said it and moved right onto placing responsibility for the ills of materialism squarely on society. The thing about baby stuff, any stuff really, is that a lot of it is pretty dang cute. Sure I can say no to diaper pails and ugly utilitarian crap, but adorable wooden toys that click and clack... What about a sweet, sweater vest or knitted finger puppets? It doesn't ever stop. Babies with needs grow into toddlers with needs. And my baby, well, he needed a hat that looked like a little bear. I got that we could raise a happy baby without 3/4 of the things on commercial registries, but I still loved the search for the most aesthetically pleasing baby items I could find.
Then came the job offer and the move. Ah, Austria. It has been transformative, freeing really. Like when you die, we literally cannot take it with us. What was I to do with all this new-found time?
You make it, mama!
It started with a basic tomato sauce. I was just curious what it would taste like from scratch. Since then I have had a whole slew of projects. A birthday crown, a week of home-baked bread, embroidered onesies, a pin cushion, a killer cornhole game for our friends' wedding, gnome baby hats for Jude and his cousin, a blog... What a fantastic, satisfying way to live a life.
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